Diary of a vampire huntress
A Vampire message to humans: please stay healthy this winter
I dread the thought of the approaching cold and flu season. I’m not a germaphobe, nor do my kind get “sick.” Humans dragging around lethargically, sneezing and sniffling and oozing mucous is enough to turn one’s stomach, but the reason I despise this time of year is because the blood of the sick tastes awful….
Exercising my guilty pleasures
Praise be to all-night gymnasiums. Not because I need to lose a few pounds after splurging on a Thanksgiving feast (triplets); my kind do not benefit from regular exercise. Nature has seen fit to arm us with strength and speed far in excess of even your most advanced specimens. And we don’t really gain weight…
Occupy: Your Neck!
All of these charming little protests against the establishment currently sweeping the colonies (sorry, old habit) — the United States — have caught my eye. So many of the unemployed, unemployable and underwashed are finally focusing their anger and indignation in the right direction. It’s about time. You humans certainly are willing to put up…
My red paint period
When it comes to art, I know what I like. I’ve been collecting for thousands of years now and I’ve assembled a body of work that would make any docent weep for joy. It’s not because I particularly enjoy contemplating fine paintings; it’s just that I adore artists and, in response, they tend to give…
Talking to the media bites, literally
Reporter from Bite Club: Joining us today from the pages of “The Cowboy and the Vampire” is Elita, an extremely influential and powerful Vampire — and drop dead (sometimes literally) gorgeous, she’s been around for thousands of years, but doesn’t look a day over 300. Hi Elita, welcome. Can you tell our readers a little…