Diary of a vampire huntress
Die another day
Sadly, vampire physiology is not conducive to recreational drug use. I’ve made my peace with it though, and there are definitely tradeoffs. During the day when we are dead, we enter another world and the experience is exquisite. Until you’ve experienced the Meta, you’ve never really been high. I hope you won’t think me too petulant,…
Coffin cozies and blood jam
For any human unlucky enough to enter my abode, it should quickly become clear that I am not a home maker. My house is always a fright. Tidying up seems so pointless and boring. And after all of these centuries, what’s a little dust? Besides, that’s what the domestic help is for. Well, for that…
How to tell if your neighbor is a Vampire
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: One of the surest ways to know you’re living next to a Vampire is by the absence of all animal life. Take a moment to pay close attention and if you find no sign of living creatures within a quarter mile radius, be worried….
Boredom: the silent undead killer
Dr. Van Helsing, wherever you are, you might want to cover your ears. I am about to reveal the worst enemy of the Vampire: boredom. Ennui. Existential despair. No stake-wielding simpleton, no misguided vigilante armed with religious righteousness, no child orphaned by a blood orgy and nurtured by cold vengeance can induce even a fraction…
Even Vampires need a little tech support
Here’s a funny little story that begins with a gift to myself; a Christmas gift, if you will. As you can imagine, Vampires don’t typically celebrate Christmas, unless of course a small group of easily overpowered carolers happens to wander by. We’re not the kind to trim trees, wrap presents or exchange holiday cards with…