Diary of a vampire huntress
Give me Nancy Drew over Raskolnikov anytime
I’ve never understood why humans assume vampires don’t read. In all of your gloriously inaccurate and unintentionally amusing horror movies with my kind, the vampires are forever moping about and draining blood, but never settle down with a good book. Shame on you. I am undead but far from unread. Who doesn’t want to escape…
New Year’s resolutions are so tiresome
With the excesses of the winter holidays — the gluttony, the wanton consumerism and the forced good will — thankfully behind us, humans tend to greet the coming year with the hopes of becoming “better.” Bright eyed optimists, it seems everyone wants to eat more healthfully, lose weight, stop smoking or cut back on…
Meth-fang
Halloween! It’s one of my favorite nights of the year. All of those decadent, delicious, individually-wrapped treats waiting at the front door. So sad that their parents watch them like hawks. There’s also the candy, of course, which brings me in a roundabout way to one of the scariest things imaginable for my kind: tooth decay….
Discoverability: The laws of attraction
My neighbor, evidently, thinks he is John Audubon. He put up a bird feeder recently. He’s a very industrious fellow. I never see him during the day, of course, but sometimes at night I stroll through his garden and admire his handiwork, and occasionally pilfer a fresh tomato or two. The bird feeder is the…
It’s summertime! Lady fingers and blood iced tea
Now is the summer of my discontent. A few weeks past, this dreary little planet was at its farthest point from the sun, ironically giving rise to the longest day of the year and the thus the shortest night. So begins the tedious countdown to winter and the return of nights of a length suitable…