Earlier this past year, we went to a local production of Venus in Fur at the Portland Center Stage. It’s a play about a playwright struggling to adapt the classic novella, Venus in Furs (by Sacher-Masoch). The literary work is famous for exploring some dark themes, including sadomasochism, and the play — a kind of a play within a play — taps into the psycho-sexual tension between a writer/director and an auditioning starlet. We were unexpectedly treated to a play within a play within a play because, in the row in front of us, another little drama was taking place.

Just as the curtain was about to go up, the ushers seated two late arrivers in the only seats left which, of course, were in front of us and two seats to the left. The man and woman were in their early 30s, stylishly dressed in expensive clothes and fashionable leather jackets; it was January. Given how dark it was, perhaps not unexpectedly, she stumbled a bit moving past those already seated.

Once in their seats, they immediately began whispering furiously. He cut her off, angrily, and gestured for the ushers who conferred with him at the railing to his left and then scurried off. Apparently, she’d left her purse in the restroom and the ushers — two lovely older women — found it and delivered it to the grateful husband just as the show started. It’s a good thing, too, because the purse would have a starring role in the near future.

Sadly, the whispering did not end with the purse. As the show heated up, the couple continued talking. Actually, it was mostly her. She would lean over to whisper loudly in this ear, confused by the action on stage and, it seemed, unsure of why she was even there. Each time, he rebuffed her angrily and waved her quiet. It soon became clear that she was not merely uncouth, she was actually so completely inebriated that she could barely function.

We are not ones to judge, nor to make light of addictions, but the poor woman put on such a public spectacle it was hard not to divert our attention from the stage — where the lingerie-clad actress slowly transformed from a disempowered sexual object to a stormy goddess and the suit-clad actor transformed from a petty tyrant to a blubbering wreck (seriously, if you get the chance, see this play) — onto the action in the seats in front of us.

The slow motion fade was her signature move. At least a dozen times in the next hour, she would slowly, agonizingly slowly, slump to her right until she was fully resting on the polite, hapless woman to her right. Her chagrined partner would see her there and, embarrassed, pull her upright — startling her in the process and often shaking loose an oath — and admonish her. Seven minutes later (we timed it), she would begin slowly keeling to the right again.

She also had the less graceful, more disruptive aborted escape move. Every so often, she decided enough was enough and stood to leave, but was so confused by the mechanics required to escape that all she could do was look helplessly left and at the insurmountable railing and right at the long row of angular knees poking out in front of disapproving eyes. Flummoxed, she would sit back down with a groan.

As the actress and the producer waged a war for sexual dominance on stage, the side show was reaching its climax and all of us in that little corner of the theater wanted to see how it turned out. We would not be disappointed. She stood one more time, wobbled a bit, then with an oath, collapsed back into her chair, snatched up her purse — I said it would figure largely — and promptly threw up into it.

And …. scene.

To be fair, her vomiting was very quiet and refined. Her husband, mortified, popped up, snatched her by the hand and pulled her through the row of people now too shocked to complain, disappearing out into the night. She clutched the purse — it was not a large one either — to her chest and not a drop was spilled. We all wanted to clap, mostly because it was finally over, but we didn’t want to disrupt the real show, which was also nearing the end.

I’m pretty sure I saw her again recently, which is why I thought about that night. If it was her, she was sober and looked healthy, so hopefully it was a one-time event or she got the help she needed.  She was at the food court in the mall looking for a plug in for her lap top. She had a cup of coffee. And a new purse.раскрутка