The Vlog: How to tell if your neighbor is a Vampire
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: One of the surest ways to know you’re living next to a Vampire is by the absence of all animal life. Take a moment to pay close attention and if you find no sign of living creatures within a quarter mile radius, be worried. And then move.
Mice, rats, raccoons, pigeons, crows, dogs, cats — tigers and lions and bears, depending upon where you live — they all naturally shy away from us. Their instincts serve them well. A few dozen generations of hard-gained experience is usually enough to hard wire the best survival mechanism: avoidance. It’s depressing, really, this inability to own pets. Read the rest of this entry »
Will Tucker and Lizzie be able to live the quiet life in LonePine, Wyoming? Can a cowboy and a Vampire find happiness in each others arms? Will the evil Vampires bent on world domination really leave them alone? Will Rex ever get that extra kibble he so richly deserves?
Praise be to all-night gymnasiums. Not because I need to lose a few pounds after splurging on a Thanksgiving feast (triplets); my kind do not benefit from regular exercise. Nature has seen fit to arm us with strength and speed far in excess of even your most advanced specimens. And we don’t really gain weight in the normal sense. It would take a steady diet of fatty blood and fortified milkshakes to even begin to add even a pound of excess weight. Fat doesn’t accumulate under undead flesh.
Fans of The Cowboy and the Vampire know that LonePine will see more than its share of Vampires in another 120 years, but in 1890 no one had yet faced the terror of the undead. With winter closing in, Jericho Whistler — the first Vampire to visit the Old West — hunkers down in the tiny town of LonePine, Wyoming for a long winter of feasting on humans.